Dear Readers,
Greetings from Paradise. The Haber Report comes to you this week from Canouan Island in the Grenadines. The Grenadines consist of 36 small islands. The one we’re on is 5 square miles–smaller than Manhattan Island. We’re very far south, 100 miles west of Barbados, pretty close to South America. This is the 17th Caribbean Island we’ve been to (yes, I counted!) so they keep getting smaller.
The primary action on this island is the Raffles Resort we are at. It’s quite nice; (I think the 4 Seasons on Nevis still takes first place). Accommodations are all in villas. When we arrived, we were upgraded to a “suite”; it consists of a huge living room, huge bedroom, huge bathroom (and I have an update on MY bathroom), lots of closet space etc. Guess “huge” is the operative word in describing our accommodations. Oh yes, there’s a nice size patio with lounge chair, etc. Every villa is given a golf cart for getting around the resort. This resort is definitely not handicapped accessible.
The pool is one of the largest I’ve ever seen in length while the width is fairly narrow. The depth is about 4 feet which is perfect for me who is still afraid of the water. There are floats just waiting to be used; my favorite resort activity!
While it’s quite hot, there are trade winds which make it feel cooler. The disadvantage of that is that you don’t realize at first that your skin is burning up; don’t ask! (& yes, Muh, I was wearing sun block).
So far there have been very few guests around so no need to fight for a lounge chair at the pool; I hate that! I understand there is a “large group” coming in tonight so we’ll see what tomorrow brings. From the pool you can see the beach and the ocean. There’s a barrier reef surrounding this side of the island, so the ocean is quite calm. Then again we’re pool people, so it doesn’t matter too much to us. I did get Marty to walk along the beach today; did you hear him moaning? it was such a short walk.
There’s a nice gym which is better than walking the grounds which is very hilly; little freaky on the turns on the golf cart, especially at night.
There are several restaurants for dinner but not enough to only eat here. The first night we ate in the “mid-level” restaurant; it was quite good; tonight we’re eating in the “top level” one. Last night we went to a small hotel that was supposed to have a nice restaurant; did you hear the moaning?
About the bathroom: that would be the one I’ve been re-doing for 2 1/2 years! Well, it’s really happening. While we’re down here, the super in my building and his staff are dismantling everything in it. And we have an actual start date (Feb. 21). YEAH!
So if you read the newspapers and follow Marty’s industry at all, you’ll know what the biggest issue/law suit going on is. Yes, I’m being a little vague on purpose; I’m under orders! In conjunction with this, there’s a major arbitration and guess who was picked as the umpire by both sides (which is unusual; mostly each side gives choices for the umpire and then there’s a process for selecting the umpire). It’s a real coup. Doug and Fawn: be very proud of your dad/father-in-law. Muh: you may kwell! The downside of this (& the reason for bringing this up) is that it’s impacting on our trip. We arrived at the hotel at 6 PM on Wed; the first conference call was at 7 PM. Today’s conference call was only 2 1/2 hours long and there’s another one tomorrow (yes, Saturday) morning. Ah well. There are 10 lawyers on each side; Marty only allows one on each side to speak on these calls! He’s very tough. It’s funny to listen to. So far they haven’t even agreed on the dates for the hearing. (And yes, I don’t need to always be around these calls; I don’t plan on doing so tomorrow morning.)
So I’m thinking I’ve rambled long enough. Clearly there’s not much sightseeing to report on from here. For that you’ll have to wait for the next trip; more on that another time.
Doug: if you’d like to write a parody, feel free. Taffel: maybe you’d like to tackle that one. As an aside, Taffel sent me an unsolicited review (you are all subscribers to The Haber Report, right?) of Chili’s fast food restaurant a few weeks ago that was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.
Keep well all of you. Hope there’s not too much snow this weekend where you are.
Deal All,
(My Editor-in-chief of The Haber Report mentioned an unsolicited review I submitted to her about a great culinary experience — at a fine eatery — our family had a number of weeks ago. I may be misreading her "instructions", but she's a tough, tough Editor, and as one would expect: she means what she says and says what she means — a trait we need a lot more of in the print business these days. So, taking no chances, and seeing a real future for The Report (now that she's moving on from her day job), I took her attribution to mean that I should send a copy to The Report's growing number of subscribers. Of course, I may be totally wrong, and my job at the magazine could be on the line, but hey, it's always better to be cautious and go with what you think your boss is requesting.
If you don't hear from me for a while, it means she's sent me to Broadway to review that new Taco Bell (being on 94th street, which she knows is at the outer limit of my usual beat) — or she was really pissed and sent me to review a 14th century museum of folk art or Mayan ruins or a remote beach that happened to be closed the day she tried to visit on some trip in the past — to fill one of those gaps in The Report that still bothers her. So, here's what our esteemed Editor was referring to — )
Dear Irene,
Well, we're back in the city and I can write on an actual computer again.
Inspired by your reviews, I thought I'd share with you our absolute best culinary experience in the country this week: Chili's. From the moment we sat down in their subtly tasteful "Times Square, Southwest" ambience, and got our beautifully served, hot tortillas with salsa, we could not have asked for more. The waitress was one of those on-the-ball servers who anticipated our needs without even asking. And, it wasn't easy choosing from their enormous menu — which had undergone several changes since our last Chili's experience six months ago.
Here's how it broke down: Stacey chose the "guiltless" grilled chicken sandwich; Leah went with the new crunchy chicken salad; Sam had his first full wrack of spare-ribs and a side of corn on the cob; I, of course, appetite unleashed after not eating in so fine a fast-food franchise in months, went for broke — a half order of ribs and then the guiltless salmon with a side of corn (hold the butter, please). You can't get eats like this just anywhere.
An hour later and after a call to schedule the family angioplasty, we went to Starbuck's for Stacey's favorite — a tall, decaf, skim-milk pumpkin-spice, latte. Leah got a tall, decaf, vanilla soy latte, which is what I tried also, for the first time. Very good. Sam passed on everything and, instead, agitated for two chocolate-frosted and sprinkled Dunkin' Donuts donuts.
It was a great night punctuated by shopping sprees in the incredible mall (actually it is — a perfect main street, like from the movie The Truman Show), newly built near where we are (unfortunately, standing on what was once the finest public golf course in the area). We went to, or through, The Gap, Dick's Sporting Goods, Old Navy, The Sharper Image and a woman's clothing store which I can't remember or even spell, that Stacey and Leah visited, while Sam and I bonded over the free-weights section in Dicks — metaphorically perfect, right?
Now, I tried this reviewing business to: 1) provide you with a break from all the preparation I know you're doing for Saturday night, and 2) to find out first-hand what it's like to review a dining and vacation event. I discovered something very quickly — it's a lot harder than it seems.
So, thanks for all the time you put into The Haber Report and the various other reports throughout the years. I don't know how you do it.
But, I now appreciate in yet another way all the effort, written and otherwise, you always dedicate to our welfare.
Ron Taffel
So you've all gotten to read Ron's review of Chili's; funny, no? Well, he is after all a published writer of about a dozen books (including ones that both Fawn and Erica used in their graduate studies).
So ah Ron that wasn't what I had in mind. Perhaps you don't recall the wonderful parody Doug wrote of my review from Nevis 2 years ago. That was more of what I had in mind but I'm sure everyone enjoyed what you sent.
So I hear it's snowing in the NY area. Glorious sun here today but it did rain hard while we were getting ready for dinner. Yeah, really bad timing!
The resort had a cocktail party tonight followed by a barbecue. Ah such opportunities for Marty to meet new people. He was quite happy.
Last night we ate at the high end restaurant here. The chef's father is from Ireland and his dad from Trinidad. He worked for Gordon Ramsey in London. He seemed impressed that I knew that Gordon Ramsey is opening a restaurant in NY this spring! His food was excellent; really nice meal.
Not much else to report on from here. Hope you're all well.
Love,
Irene